Outside Edge (24/01/10)

Intent on showing Armani what they're missing after being jocked off as a model for their pricy pants in favour of Cristiano Ronaldo, David Beckham has taken to doffing his kit – shirt, sometimes shorts as well – at every oppor-tunity when performing for Milan. But was all what it seemed down below? Last week he was ambushed by an Italian TV reporter, Elena Di Cioccio, who grabbed the crotch of his natty gent's trousering in an attempt to see if the reality matched up to the adverts. "I touched it but it's small!" she claimed. "David, you have conned us all. What did you use, cotton wool?" But surely it's an open secret that he's been making a packet for himself for years.

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Number of viewers for a recent edition of 'Sgorio Cymru', S4C's Welsh Premier League highlights package, according to official figures. Perhaps fans are tired of sides with names such as Airbus UK Broughton and Technogroup Welshpool.

Shaming namings of the week

Oh dear, silly-name time in Scotland as well. The Stirling Albion Supporters' Trust have been negotiating with comparethemarket.com to rename the Scottish Second Division side Stirling Albion Meerkats in exchange for £50,000 a year. It's not as simples as that, though; the Scottish FA seem intent on blocking the deal. Edge's award for the best/worst sponsored team moniker goes to a rugby union outfit from the small town of Vincentia, New South Wales, who rejoice in the name of the Cooee Hotel/Husky Pub Vincentia Van Goghs. Their crest: a bloody, severed ear; their motto: "Making rugby an art form". 'Ear, 'ear – never let it be said Australia lacks culture.

Good week for

Mark Selby, won his second snooker Masters title by beating Ronnie O'Sullivan 10-9 after trailing 6-9... Sean Rose, Paralympian downhill skier, won Britain's first-ever gold in a World Cup race... Iain Percy and Andrew Simpson, added Star class sailing world title to their Olympic gold... Timmy Murphy, rode his 1,000th jumps winner... and Jenson Button, had a footbridge named after him in his home town of Frome.

Bad week for

Paul Duffen, the former Hull chairman, facing legal proceeding for alleged misuse of club funds... David Attoub, the Stade Français prop, banned for 70 weeks for eye-gouging Ulster's Stephen Ferris... Jimmy Fortune, lost his job as stable jockey to Derby-winning trainer John Gosden... and the British Equestrian Federation, who lost their appeal against relegation from the Nations Cup showjumping competition.

Arguable anthems of the week

Trembling times at financial basket case Notts County. Peter Trembling, that is, their chief executive, who in a commendable acceptance of reality has decreed that 'One Vision' by Queen no longer fits the bill as a match-day anthem. He has asked fans to nominate alternatives: songs submitted so far include: 'Where Did All The Good Times Go' by Donny Osmond; 'Promised You A Miracle' (Simple Minds); 'Sweet Talkin' Guy, Talkin' Sweet Kind Of Lies' (Chiffons); and 'Theme From Shaft' (Isaac Hayes). No men-tion yet for the Glen Campbell classic 'I Am A Blind Man For Notts County', but there's still time to send suggestions to media@nottscountyfc.co.uk. Vote now, vote often.

a.tong@independent.co.uk