England's continued off-field drama will see Trevor Bayliss wield the axe on it

This squad of English players simply don’t have the maturity or self-control to focus on their goal, let alone execute it on the field

Trevor Bayliss will act after a number of players have let him down Down Under (Getty)

Bill Belichick, the head of the New England Patriots dynasty and arguably the finest sports coach on the planet right now, has a saying that has become the mantra inside his historic string of Super Bowl successes.

“Do your job.”

If everyone focuses on their task and executes it as planned, the Patriots are going to win and, once again, they did just that in February to break another glut of records.

Those three simple words come to mind Down Under, where it is not just the England players who wake up with hangovers after these nights of foolishness, but the entire England set-up who are tasked with dealing with the fallout.

One senior ECB official described a group of players as “brainless f*****g idiots” when speaking to friends over the weekend, while head coach Trevor Bayliss’ tell-all book down the line will likely pull no punches when breaking down exactly what he feels about the gaggle of manchildren seemingly determined to make his life more difficult. His fury is no secret. Every other Australian is doubled over with laughter.

What we know for sure is that when charged with winning the Ashes - the pinnacle for any English cricketer - this squad of English players simply don’t have the maturity or self-control to focus on their goal, let alone execute it on the field. “Do your job” seems simple, unless you’re a gifted English cricketer who must intersperse it with guzzling pints out of your shoe and decking the nearest bar patron.

The Ben Stokes incident raised eyebrows at the time, even though it was months before the Ashes, because it took place halfway through a one-day series against the West Indies. Jonny Bairstow’s headbutt on Cameron Bancroft took place just weeks before the Ashes began and, even when kept secret, eventually provided the Australians with ammo and derailed Bairstow’s game.

Bayliss is known to be extremely disappointed with the off-field incidents (Getty)

Bairstow is one of those closest to the chopping block, not just for his persistent immaturity but also because Ben Foakes, who has long been seen as a potential England wicketkeeper of the future, is performing on the Lions tour and the ECB wouldn’t be afraid to switch him in for the Yorkshireman - especially if this cursed series becomes the lost cause most now expect it to.

The senior players, one of whom found themselves wearing Ben Duckett’s beverage this weekend, have enjoyed a spell of playing for England when attitudes towards drinking and smoking were liberal but have been done in a manner which hasn’t hindered their success. It is those joining this generation in the England team who are under the spotlight, unable or simply unwilling to curb their looser tendencies. Internally, it is the same names who keep cropping up. No coach whose job depends on on-field success will tolerate that for too long and those names may not appear in England squad lists too much in 2018.

Duckett has been spared the ignominy of being sent home but only in name, he has torpedoed his international career, unlikely to feature for England until Bayliss departs, and for what? What was so important to him that he would invert a pint over the head of a legendary player currently 2-0 down in what is likely to be his final Ashes series?

The incident itself is deemed fairly trivial though Anderson was known to be unhappy about it. Understandably, most would say. Duckett wasn’t involved in any of the previous incidents and isn’t part of the Ashes squad but that only helps him on a technicality really, and he will be running drinks and bowling in the nets for the rest of the Lions tour.

It all just seems so avoidable. So many young players damaging their chances of playing for England, but also damaging England’s chances of victory - which is all the ECB care about at the end of the day - for the sake of having nine pints instead of three. Bayliss is right to try and treat his players like adults but the minimum expectation is that they behave like them.

Working in crisis management for the ECB might have briefly overtaken Southern Rail social media intern as the least desirable job on the planet right now, though at least the people in those roles are doing what is expected of them and not nipping out for half a bottle of cognac and a ruckus in their lunch break.

It’s a simple premise but one that’s obviously escaping a bunch of England players who need some sense shaking into them.

Three Tests remain, three words need saying.

Do. Your. Job.