yesterday was a . . .

Good day for Derbyshire deer, thanks to the decision to erect a 24-ft high noise barrier around an open-cast mine at Smalley Common at a cost of pounds 10,000. The reason for the barrier is to avoid interfering with the deer's sex lives during their rutting season at the end of this month.

Bad day for Nicaraguan drunks, who are being preyed on by an unidentified person who sneaks up on them when they are in a stupor and covers them with lovebites. The total number of victims of the "chupabolos" (drunksucker) are unknown. Locals are said to be unsympathetic.