Lyric sheets

Running at 550 pages, the newly-published National Asset Register is being nicknamed the `Domesday Book'. Its cultural section, however, has omitted many of our national rock treasures.

The Rock Domesday Book

Weye-Bridge.

Two score rocke starre houses and estaytes seventeen gittare shayped swyminge pooles four of these with sunke Rollsroyce withinne

One of them inscribed, OASIS RULES

Abbeye Roade.

A large recordynge studio, and hard-by, nerdes on zebra crossynge by the score strydeing four-a-line across the road cryeing, "I bette no-one's dounne this before."

So-Ho.

Plentifulle with clippe-joyntes and with pubbes, menne-who-go-as-damsels, othere chanceres dodgie pedlars selleing in the clubbes The Devylle's Dandruffe to the wearie danceres

Castle Donyngetonne.

In layte summer, articke truckes and stayges and full noisie, many a kerannge and thudde dubious hotdogges, cidere and bad bier rough-born churls who go to sleepe in mudde

Glastonneburye.

One vaste settlemente of tentes and stalls menne who gain therein withoute theyr passes bangynge drums, inhalynge weed and chantynge knoweing not theyr elbowes from theyr arses

West Wittetynge.

Once a manor house belongynge to

Keith of Richardes, ryffe-wright, shaggy hayre self-apothecary ,now a- ruin

But the house has undergonne repayre.