generation gap

How can you persuade an energetic six-year-old that he's too young to play in the street when there's nowhere else to go? By Caroline Millar

the son

Thomas Millar is six and lives in Liverpool with his parents and younger sister. He attends a local infant school.

'I think I'm very good at crossing the road'

I'd like to play out with my friend on the road, because whenever a car came I would just run on to the pavement. My friend's usually playing stuff like water pistols and football and things that I like.

It's quite boring indoors because when I play with my sister, Claire, she messes up my game. I can play football indoors but it's better outside because there's more space and the road is smoother than the floor. I can't play with a hard ball indoors but I can outside.

I'm saddy-cross with Mummy when she says I can't play out. I think Mummy should let me play out more because I would just take a couple of steps into the road. But Mummy and Daddy think cars come a bit quicker than me and I might not see them.

I think I'm very good at crossing the road. Sometimes I'm worried that when I cross I'll hear a very big noise and it's a car and it's only about two inches away from me, and I'll have to run back. I don't really think it will happen, I just worry about it.

Mummy's worried that a stranger might say, "Come along with me and have some sweets." If I met someone that I don't know and they spoke to me, I would talk to them, but I wouldn't go along with them. There's not much that could happen because I'm quite an intelligent boy and I don't do the things some other people do. One boy I know, if someone came up to him and said, "Come to the shop and have some chocolate buttons", he would just go with the stranger.

Mummy says that if I play out then Claire might open the gate and run after me, and if I'm getting a ball from beside the road then Claire might run out into the road and get hurt.

If I was a grown-up I would let my children play out, but I'd only let them go one or two steps on to the road, or just stay on the pavement.

the mother

Caroline Millar is a freelance writer.

'I feel very bad about keeping him cooped up inside'

Thomas is desperate to play outside on the street. We live in an urban street of terraced houses with small backyards, and most of the children play outside after school. But I don't think Thomas is ready to cope with the dangers, although he insists that he is.

I feel very bad about keeping him cooped up inside. It's hard to admit you can't keep them entertained all the time. I've watched him kicking a football in our hall for what seems like hours on end, and I've felt like screaming at him. But whenever I suggest he does something else he tells me it's boring.

When I was a child we played outside, and were in and out of each other's houses all day. I regret very much that Thomas can't have the same freedom. I try to have friends around as much as possible for him to play with, and we often go to the park. But I know that's not the same.

I know the chances are pretty small, but it is very frightening to think that there are people out there fantasising about doing harm to your children. And if anything was to happen to him, it would be too terrible to imagine. It's the kind of thing I've had nightmares about, and woken up thanking God it was just a dream.

Thinking rationally, I know that cars are the greatest risk. We've tried to teach him road sense, but he's so full of life, he bounces everywhere, and he doesn't always concentrate.

Occasionally, I let him play outside, if I'm at the front and watching him. But then his younger sister wants to come outside, too, and she's too young to be allowed anywhere near the road. So we get tantrums from her because she has to stay beside me.

We've started to allow him to go to a friend's house just down the road by himself. But I do worry, in case anything happens to him on the way. He wants so fiercely to be independent.

The trouble is, he's still very small and vulnerable.