Meet the Spartans, (12A)

Carmen Electra

With its overblown machismo and undigested racial stereotypes – manly, freedom-loving Spartans versus submissive, decadent Persians – 300 is ripe for spoofing.

But it's a model of tact and dignity next to this witless, worthless agglomeration of pop-culture references. If you've bothered reading this far, you've already wasted more time on it than it deserves.