London Boulevard (18)

Starring: Colin Farrell, Keira Knightley

Quite a week for below-par thrillers. The surprise of this one is that its appalling script is penned by William Monahan, an Oscar-winner for The Departed.

Colin Farrell plays an ex-con returning to his London stamping-ground and reluctantly drawn back into the glum underlife of his cronies. But he gets the job of a lifetime "minding" an actress-model (Keira Knightley) who's hiding out in her West London home from the paparazzi. Monahan's narrative seems to be suffering a bad case of Attention Deficit Disorder, flitting between characters like a nervous party host and consequently skimping on all of them. It works neither as romance nor as urban thriller, though I did enjoy David Thewlis's fruity turn as a resting luvvie.