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Mark Steel

Mark Steel is a stand-up comedian, radio presenter and Independent columnist. He enjoys writing his column because no one ever takes it literally.

With science on the government’s side, you won’t need to criticise it

It’s impossible to fault our leaders. Even if they fall short of their ambitious targets, no one said anything about sticking to them

Now’s no time for hard questions about Covid-19, it seems

If the British media had been at a press conference on the Titanic as it began to sink, they’d have told the captain: ‘Obviously you have my full support while we drown, but if I’d survived, I’d have asked you whether you could have prevented us from drowning’

Brexit day is near and we’ll be free to drink all the bad wine we want

Finally, we’ll be free to toast to a new spirit of harmony with Europe in the PROPER British way

The woke brigade are so powerful, the only job open to us is PM

Actors, in particular, have faced appalling hardship. Half of the country’s actors currently working were educated at private schools. We’re now so woke that the other half of acting roles are going to that lucky group known as ‘common people’